April 18, 2019

You Make Me Feel

By In Diary

At some point or another, you or someone you’ve interacted with have used the phrase, “They made me question my sexuality.” Of course this refers to finding attraction in someone outside your sexual  preferences and presets. In most cases, this saying is only words, with no real intentions or meaning behind it. It can be taken as a compliment, but some find it offensive as a casual right off of LGBTQ people. 

I am not of the persuasion of thinking this to be offensive. In fact, I sometimes wonder how frivolous a statement like that actually is. Could it be possible that the people saying these things might actually have some unaddressed feelings coming to the surface. It’s become a safe way to express these feelings, without anyone taking them too seriously. Perhaps though this is a way of subconsciously testing the waters.

Most people are pretty firm (pun intended) in who they’re attracted to. The hard limits generally are gender, while soft limits tend to be in looks and qualities. Our society likes these norms because it makes social etiquette easier and less messy to deal with. But over the last many decades, we’ve had to adapt to gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals entering into the mix. They’ve always been here, but society finally had to find a way to incorporate them into the fold. Definitely not an easy and very messy, with a lot of moments that we already look back upon and deeply regret. While we’re in no way close to full incorporation, we are much closer than ever before.

Societies resist the new by default. Change will always bring disruption, because human beings like the idea of stability. Religions are formed on the ideas of rules and structure. Traditions are a way of keeping people on a laid out path, to not veer away into some unknown wilderness. Anyone who has traveled into the unknown, discovered truths different than the ones they’ve always known, will infect others with these new ideas. Ultimately, the old ways are less and less traveled, eventually abandoned for some new, better way. Then as history has proven, the circle repeats.

In 2019, we are at such an impasse. We find less and less people blindly accepting the traditions and beliefs of their families, instead relying on what they can see and feel right in front of them. Compassion ultimately wins the day. It’s not so easy to be dead to the cry’s of those in pain anymore. It’s not so uncommon now to know someone personally who is different than you. It’s a lot simpler to make enemies of complete strangers. Because of the digital interconnection of our society, there are less and less strangers.

As we grow, adapt, inevitably change, what will the future look like? Will declaring your sexual preferences be so important anymore? Will gender be so rigid or as recognized as it is today? Will it be more important to live than how you live? 

Who has time to wait around for the future? I’m reminded all too often of the passage of time. As a 35 year old in 2019, I’m not prepared or patient enough for the world to get its shit together. I guess I’ll just have to be the one to get this party started. 

My point is confusion can be good. Instead of being afraid of things that throw off our balance, we should enjoy the thrill of learning or experiencing something new. Are you heterosexual and another member of the same sex randomly turned you on? Embrace it! It doesn’t mean some major shift in your identity or sexuality, it just means you’re brave enough to find out things that might surprise you. 

Take it from someone who is getting older and finds less things thrilling in life: when you find something exciting and scary, don’t run from it. It’s like a hard on, you don’t waste that. It’s not always going to be that easy.

Part of what I love about myself is that I help some people “discover” feelings they never knew they had. No apologies from me, however I’m never against a little gratitude. Take the pleasure wherever you can get it, am I right?

Escape The Ordinary,

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