April 26, 2019

Second Coming

By In Diary

Last year, I fell into this nasty habit of going to bed at a decent hour, waking up early, and trying to figure out what I was going to do during those waking hours. What a nightmare-daymare? I’m a night owl. If I’m not up at 4AM still working on an illustration, recording/editing a podcast, doing a modeling shoot, or writing a new diary entry, then I’m not happy. At night, I don’t struggle to figure out what to do, I struggle to do as much as I can before the sun rises.

Admittedly, I’m sitting in the theater as I write this on my iPhone, waiting for Avengers End Game to start. Like I said, I need to be doing something constantly these days and what better way to curb my excitement and impatience than to write.

Finally, I’m at a place where I can say that I’m comfortably uncomfortable. I’m not allowing myself to get too settled, forcing myself to confront my insecurities, getting back into shape (no matter what horrible thing my body wants to ingest), and allowing myself to not be completely in control of every aspect of my life. Basically, I’m rejecting so many of the securities that we like to surround ourselves in.

In this chaotic process, I’ve really found myself again. That young, eager, courageous, sexy, bold temptress has revealed herself once more. She’s repossessed her physical habitation and demands tribute. She didn’t fight and claw herself from the carcass of my old, rotting carcass just to lounge around and catch up on Netflix. 

Something has reawakened. There will be no lulling it back to sleep this go around. All this time spent living in fear of what’s out there in the world, forgetting what the world should fear inside of me. I’m the one thing that the world is most afraid of: Change. Not an “Influencer”, not a “BeauTuber”, and not an “InstaModel”. I’m an Agent of Change. I’m here to fuck up your normal until you don’t even recognize what that is anymore. 

Consider this my official declaration. 

Escape The Ordinary,

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