November 26, 2012

It’s Been A While

By In Diary

For a person who spends an inordinate amount of time on the internet, I do seem to keep my presence down to a soft purr. It’s not for a lack of anything to say, I assure you. My mind is swimming with ideas and agendas on a constant basis, but in that lies the problem. By the time I begin to physically hash out one idea, my mind is ready to move on to the next, but unable to because of the jam. So what ends up happening? Nothing, well…almost nothing. I squeak out a few things here or there, but focusing my mind to complete one project at a time is truly taxing.

It’s been suggested to me that I may have the A.D.D. that’s been going around. It’s quite possible, but instead of treating it with medication, I discovered on another method which has really helped me in the last week or so. I don’t recall exactly how I found out about this, but I managed to find some ‘ASMR’ videos (a google search will tell you everything you need to know about it.

To briefly sum up these videos, a person speaks softly or whispers and will talk about some various subject or do a bit of roleplaying (No dice or kinkiness (actually these could be very kinky I guess) involved). The roleplaying scenarios that I’ve seen are usually something with the theme of receiving a massage or a hair cut. At first, the bizarre act that I was watching was strange and comical to me, but after a few moments, I relaxed and could actually feel my scalp being massaged (which was what was happening in the video). It has something to do with muscle memory or familiar brain stimuli. I’m not sure how it exactly works, but it was very relaxing, meditative even.

After the third time of watching the video (yes, 3 whole times), I felt the busyness in my head clear up. It wasn’t empty, but much more serene and focused. It’s this clarity that has lead me to write my first entry in much too long. Not so much to promote this interesting relaxation method I’ve found, but I thought it was worth a share to any of you who may be interested.

Instead of this post becoming about all the things I’m going to do now and some time table that I’m going to adhere to, this is more of an update to say that my desire it to share more and post as often as I have something new to share.

Mainly the things I want to share more about are my passions. Fashion and crossdressing are two things that I don’t write about as often as I should. Through the few posts that I have shared about my unyielding need to possess both sides of the gender identity spectrum, I’ve received numerous emails and comments from many of you with words of support or a desire to hear more. First off, thank you so much you wonderful, beautiful readers and I’m going to make that happen.

Crossdressing to me is an important topic that I still don’t feel has it’s proper place in streams of communication. To the public, it’s still some weirdness that ‘mentally deficient’ people take part in for nefarious reasons. A lot of people look at this kind of thing as the continual disintegration of our society. I strongly object to that and would add that in fact it is the sign of a major progression. Gender roles at one time were large divisions between men and women. Now though, that divide is beginning to be united and instead of there being numerous groups of estranged people, we’re all merging into one massive group. This simply translates to equality.

I’ve got to great lengths to explain why I crossdress, but now I want to focus on helping others accept and embrace it. Because a man puts on a skirt or wears makeup, does that truly devalue them or make them immoral? Explain to me why? Really what the issue is, it’s a matter of threatening the idea of what masculinity is and what it means to be a man. We’re also talking about base animalistic fears that need to be overcome, as we’ve already overcome so much in the past.

So as I’ve touched on here, there is a lot I want to do here and will be keeping diligent to do so. Additionally, I’m starting a podcast at the beginning of the year where I interview people that I feel are contributing something special to society. By the contribution part, I’m not talking about grand gestures, but rather intimate ones that involve people pursuing their passions and sharing them with others. I’m calling it ‘Ele-A-Mental’ at the moment, but we’ll see if that name holds up in the coming days.

Thank you for reading this post and I hope that your week is full of wonderment 😉

Exclusively Yours,
Ele Nichols

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