May 2, 2015

Sinister Strokes

By In Diary

So here is an admission I don’t often talk about…I dread the process of writing. That’s odd, right? Even now as I write this, there is part of me that is fighting against me doing so. It’s not that I don’t love writing, but it’s appropriate to say that this is a labor of love, emphasis on labor.

I’ve talked to a lot of writers and heard their stories. It’s not so uncommon for many to hate the process of writing, but they do it for that feeling of completion. I understand that and very much relate.

When I write, I feel as if I’m loosing my mind. I don’t say that for dramatic effect, I literally mean that. It’s in those moments where I’m concentrating and straining to communicate an idea, that I begin to fight off an onslaught of other ideas, trying to break to the surface at once. Often I find myself lost in that flurry, trying to control the storm.

Eventually, I find the message I want to communicate and push myself to shore, through the mental tides. While the task is daunting and leaves me in a battered state, nothing can beat that feeling of success.

With my art and writing, the thing I love the most is the fact I imagined something in my head and broke it through the barriers of reality. For me, the difficulty of these things becomes more understandable, once you get that you created something out of nothing. It’s clear to see why it’s not easy, nor should it be.

That leads me to my last thought here, which is why it’s so difficult to create something. I think birth is a good example, because of the ridiculous pain you experience when bringing a life in this world. I believe the pain is a good thing. This is a cliche statement, but it’s true: no pain, no gain. It’s the threshold you have to pass through for any great thing in your life.

No one wants to go through pain, but when you really want something, you’ll find the courage to go through it. On the other side, you see why the pain was important. Without it, the value and the meaning of what you wanted to accomplish is lost. The wonderful thing is that those experiences don’t leave you broken, but instead make you better.

As I wrap this up, that crazed feeling that overwhelmed me when I started has become clarity, just as it has every time before. I walk away a little less crazy than when I started, it’s just weird that I have to get a little more crazy to get there. Go figure.

This week, I thought I would photograph that insanity that flows into every keystroke. I love old typewriters, so I pulled this one from my collection and had a little fun. Hopefully wherever you are, you’re having fun too.

Escape The Ordinary,
Ele Nichols

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